我以为实际的支持是种体贴
殊不知你一直都当我在献殷勤

三根蜡烛

今晚没事做,和妈妈去听佛法课程
虽然不是第一次思量这一件事
但是每一次的思考都会引发内心的悸动
师父说众生的业好比蜡烛A点亮蜡烛B再由蜡烛B点亮蜡烛C一样,三根蜡烛的光明并非一体,彼此不一样,但三者都被因果牵引着,是有业而无作业者。
或许这道理并不难懂,但三根蜡烛都在亮着,表示这宇宙里"存在"着现在,过去及未来的我们。
三个我们并不拥有相同的意识,但彼此造就了彼此。
在这宇宙中，存在着个空间,你刚刚出生在这世上,呱呱坠地。
于此同时,在同一个宇宙里,在不同的空间中,你在面临着死亡的恐惧。
而"现在的你＂却不知觉这些空间的存在。
而这些空间也有相对的因果法则。
实在耐人寻味

还有五天
Exam 过了
Assignment 也做到七七八八了
虽然这次回去只是3个月
突然变到有点舍不得墨尔本tim
或许是我都在忙学业
没法好好去走完这里的景点
回想起三月初到贵境时天天挂住的那副衰样...
这几天爸和Tai Yong来墨尔本
Tai Yong虽然依旧神经兮兮
但是思想比较有分寸了
才来到这里不到一晚就想念妈了
没办法，自从我也来到墨尔本念大学
家里大部分时间就只有他和妈在一起
他明年终于要重返校园了
问起他有没有打算以后也像Howard一样来墨尔本念书
他说他放不下妈一个人在家
我说没关系，我毕业后就会回去马来西亚
所以一换一，ok的
澳洲是个好地方
虽然大家都说澳洲人排华
但大家都没说到澳洲人discriminate的东西相对来说少很多
Howard曾在马来西亚常常去打pool/snooker被其他人视为无所事事，游手好闲
在这里若能打好pool是相当让人羡慕的一门手艺
他以前在马来西亚因为几乎天天打篮球而被责备荒废学业
来到这里反倒是学校希望他出席每一次的练习，放心的让他出战一场又一场的校际赛
以前他在学校顶撞老师会被记过，这里的老师天天都盼着学生给予feedback
我想他来到这里后自信很多吧
而我嘛，我很欣赏澳洲人的态度，很同情他们的处境，也很祝福他们的将来
但我心里明白自己确实不属于这个地方
其实很明显吧？
我的人那么抗拒acculturation
大概呆在马来西亚比较好吧

Clumsy Thumbsy

看！我发奋了！
整个blog的template换掉了！
连音乐也换了一些！
哈哈
可能是不爽彦霖得比我好看
所以我发奋啦！
今天开始考试了
但今天让我心情变化最大的是莫过于text错人
彦霖用他朋友的手机miscall我
但我不知道那不是他本身的电话号码，因为他前日刚签新号码
reply call没人接
所以只能用text的
结果结果
不知道为什么整个msg box 页面一暗
我的信息被发到日前戏剧公演的Production Manager那里去
可恨的是...
我的text是：
Whassup cunt?
(因为那个死仔包每次都是酱叫我们)
...
...
...
...
那位Production Manager是女的
...
...
...
...
有一种尴尬到死的感觉...

半夜四点废话连篇

今天大半天都窝在图书馆温习

虽说是温习

有上cognitive psych的人都知道

人类的注意力非常有限

在对着一样东西很久后parallel processing system 就会ignore那些显到爆的东东

所以事实上除了温习，我们三姐弟还在图书馆里上下左右比一比，

下了几盘棋，游览有的没的的网页

彦霖为撇了他的女友设了个blog

没想到他文笔不错，而且blog的design很舒服

真叫人不爽，哈哈

可我们谁也想不到花心男会有依依不舍的一天

惟有希望女方会感动吧

就快回大马去了

虽然说很想念大马美食

但是还是希望有多几天完成assignment

就是打死也不要apply extension，哈哈

回到去也有一堆亲情，感情，友情有待处理

搞不好还要编些故事，夸大其词

因为总有的人老爱把留学生想得很传奇

事实上，我在墨尔本每天忙翻天是真的

但不至于每天或每个星期会遇到一些很新奇的事物

最奥妙的是当这些人机械性客套时，他们总不愿意听真话

好像总要活在一个万花筒里才算是一个标准的外国生活

说真的，不信就算了

反正客套终究是客套

按照cognitive psyh而言，它或许连early filter of attention也进不到就灰飞烟灭了

呜呼哀哉

Haiz,快凌晨四点了，我去替肝脏疗伤，就这样。

如果今天有人纯粹为了另一个人的愚笨而生气那个人，那叫小器。
但如果一个愚笨的人拼命耍心机而被看穿的人生气，那绝对叫活该。
听起来也许很不公平，感觉好像愚笨的人没资格耍心机。
我说哪有什么好觉得不公平的，如果你本身天资没其他人高，何不安份做人？何况这世界又不是最会耍心机的人最有道德，最崇高。
你常想做与众不同那一位，那你何必埋怨别人有的你没有？何况心机被猜穿了，你展现出来的不过是个丑陋的你。
有自信是美德，但自视过高就是自讨苦吃...

瑟田伯

在迷茫中就快度过了九月
末日自然近了
这个月的春风不断摇晃我的脑袋
脑神经互相撞击之下
我好像领悟了什么
却也说不出领悟了什么
感动经过我的脉搏
一个秘密打破尘封的沉默
我知道这不是无病呻吟
只是我的感受不仅有感慨
所以哗众取宠的或许是你的心
这世界找不到一张自然的自拍照
你若自命不凡 又何必巴结红尘？

Yes or No plus some random thought

Watched a gay film recently
Actually watched a few before

but this one seems to be putting the most effort in spreading the msg "Thr's nth shame about any love"

Real popular in Thailand that majority would willing to view it as a romance film rather than simply a gay film
Well, I prefer the term "gay" over "lesbian" as it sounds happier...lol

Love that film a lot, its episode 2 has just been released in Thailand...have to wait...

Not much gay films are presented in comedy tone, the last one I watched would be "Saving Face"
The title of the current film I reccommend is "Yes or No" (2011), probably some here may have heard of it or even watched it...
For those who haven't, and u appear to be a non-homophobe, you may not want to miss this one
Even if you are a homophobe, this movie may change your mind...haha

Also, Thai movie industry really amused me, not just by this film, but they are getting better and better in producing romance  and comedy films aside from horror movies. Shame on Malaysia...miss the old days when we have Yasmin Ahmad....I know thr are a few people who are trying very hard to produce films that are able to spread the msg which Yasmin Ahmad used to do...but frankly no one has reached there yet
Namewee has been producing a few films on the topic of racism, unfortunately his productions seem to be overfocusing on that issue, and to a certain extent they are like constantly reminding the ppl about how serious the racism issue is in Malaysia and as a result, many ppl in return have actually increased their race identity and awareness instead of trying to attain a unity among Malaysians...haiz
Meanwhile, hitz.fm DJ Jin has been working hard on uploading videos that promotes some Malaysian values...but we may anticipate more to a film and that in a more common medium that all Malaysians would  understand, in this case I suppose the impact would be greater if it's a film in Malay (or mixed)?
Though youtube has the viral power, but I believe a full length movie brings greater impact in Malaysians, as Malaysians often come out with good youtube videos, but not much produced movies that become a proud in every Malaysians,which is actually quite similar to the phenomenon that LCW's Olympic badminton match may hold all of us together disregard of ethnicity.
I got a big headache about my future career recently...often imagined myself end up involving in business instead of psychological career. If only I get the opportunity to involve myself in film production field as I used to dream of, I truly wish that I may attain the realm of Yasmin Ahamd and if possible, more than that? haha...if and only if lar...
Here's something not related to movie...
I don't normally follow the crowd to view Justin Bieber as a gay or girl, but previously when I went into a dvd shop and found his music dvd found on the rack labelled "Queer/ Special Interest", I lol-ed really hard in myself XD
Wait till the day that thr's no longer a movie genre called "queer", and that may be the day the whole world doesn't have any discrimination against LGBT, not even merely tolerance, and more than just acceptance....
Looking forward for that day to come =)

谢谢你的美好

曾经我常在想，喜欢一个人有没有期限？
我能喜欢一个人多久？
喜欢一个人近六年了，
以为就快可以得到一个答案时
所有的故事情节却瞬间掉了
还是是我自己不小心掉进一个不属于我的故事？
积极人总说要努力去争取自己的幸福
但缘分这件事，即使我们投入百分奋不顾身
都没法让它提升半点
就算不理“不要为一棵树放弃整片森林”这句老掉牙
无可厚非
这世界如此浩瀚
而我们是穿越那么多才堪得此生
如果心里脑里永远只留给一个人
是侮辱了生命的意义
我并不是在说负气话
这六年虽称不上幸福
但喜欢着他的日子期间
对他可能有的回应所培养的等待也成为了我生命中的一部分
我不是在鼓吹花心行为
只是明白执着是不会为你带来你所期待的幸福
是时候放开自己的心
不用去刻意忘掉他
也不用再擅自为他种种言行举止赋予定义与猜疑
哪天真的走在一起我依然会感动
但心里该明白不需要非得他不可
心里的哽咽会有好的一天
伤口总会痊愈
如果有那么一天缘分再度降临在我们身上
希望那时我们已可以爱得更自由

谢谢你的美好。

很小的时候，我妈妈就立志要把握训练成一个受英文教育的人。


在我好不容易懂得分辨"b"与"d"时，她就迫不及待在几乎每一次出外时用英文与我对话。


我当时什么也没听明白，问她可不可以换成中文对话时她都只一一以英文回复。


到上小学时，我妈妈再添了各式各样的英文补习班给我。


无可否认，至此我的英文突飞猛进, 或许在赞许与分数的鼓励下，我渐渐放下对华文的重视。


到小六那年，我不把华文练习放在心上，乱做一通，班主任把我叫出来，问我为什么。


我说了句气话，告诉她：“我不喜欢华文。”


她便责骂我：“不喜欢华文的话那就别当华人，也不用华文名字了，干脆叫"Mary"还是“Jane”就算了！”

当头棒喝，我马上恶补华文。毕业那天，为表谢意，我送了一个布谷鸟钟给我的班主任。

但她好像会错意，以为我有恶意，不过事后我也没有作出任何陈清，此事便随之淡去。

小学毕业后，妈坚持让我上国中。

于是我在国中待了一年。

还记得那间国中让我们每星期上三节的华文课。但由于大部分同学深知自己不会在PMR或SPM报考中文，所以大家都对华文课视若无睹。上华文课时大家都在各忙西东。

而且下课时若被发现讲中文还会被巡查员警告=="

我又再次在环境的驱使下忽略华文课，写作文也不过是结合两篇范文的精髓。

但事后又被华文老师发现，训了我一顿。

我很懊悔，心里明白

在所有人都快放弃华文时还愿意花时间检查我是否有抄袭作文的华文老师必定是一位好老师。

不难猜测，事后我又加勤进补我的华文。

在那位老师离职后，班上换来一位感觉上没那么认真的老师。

我心想那样下去也不是办法，于是萌起转校到独中的念头。

欲申请时中华独中校方劝我下一年再入校。

最后我顺利完成我的心愿，不过得从初中一重新读起。

虽然到最后我的统考文凭不太好看，但我从不后悔转校到独中，甚至为我这个决定感到骄傲。

今天，我身在澳洲，我明白，亲朋戚友会认为我将来会排斥中文这件事是可以被理解的。

可是，我骨子里不会也不敢忘记，自己的母语就是华语。

若干年后，我相信我的中文还是会比英文强。

尽管港台电视剧怎么不如英美制作，我依然没法完全不沉迷。

尽管欧美流行歌曲怎么变化多端，我车子上播放的大多数还是台湾非主流音乐。

尽管西餐怎么美轮美奂，我平时吃最多的还是马来西亚式的中餐。

你可以说我固执，你可以对我抱有相反的期待，

你有你的选择，可我也有忠于自己的自由。

High School Memories

Just now visited a high school good friend's blog...
Saw a blog post dated 2009 that lists all kind of memories she has for her 6 years high school life...
All the memories flash back in a sudden.
I have to admit that she's a really good writer, at least she was being totally open and frank.
The smell of the wooden chairs and desks...
The maths that I'm still unable to solve to date...
The peaceful art workshop...
The essay writing papers...
The all-year-round-messy desk of mine...
The stinky washrooms that were always running out of tissue papers...
The Rm 2.80 Hainan Chicken Rice with eggs from canteen...
The Yee Mee stallkeeper who always knew what I was going to order...
The friends who "shared" chemistry test answers together...
The ringing sound of the school bell...
The just for recycling school annual journals...
The tetanus vaccine injection session...
The annoying and high-faint-rate school assemblies...
The all time favourite TVB drama discussion...
The physic teacher who asked me not to sigh over my single-unit-score paper...
The all-year-standing-math class...
The lousy speakers in classrooms...
The special vintage-feel brown papers that issued to us by schools for requesting parent's consent, announcing school holidays, announcing replacement class, indicating the amount required for school fees...bla bla bla
The art teacher who loves Ultraman...and another one who treated me like her daugther...
The prank we played on the teachers...
The BM, Moral & Sejarah teacher's office in where I was most welcomed...
The stationery and book shop that I often went to to run errands for teachers and friends...
The smell of the chinese calligraphy paper and ink...
The piles of textbook on my desk...
The interclassroom textbook borrowing...
The cutlery that being used as sketching subjects...
A very special friend who accompanied me to walk up to the 5th or 6th floor of Kemahiran Hidup Building for the sake of "finding my ruler" oftenly though she knew it wasn't true...
The bread smuggling from canteen to classroom...
The only one who invited me to feel the rain together...
The msn title that said it all about my feeling...
and many many more...
All of sudden they come back to me, like I have never left Chong Hwa before...

=P

有些事情
是该理清楚了
是自己不小心反映在他处的心情
还是自己创造的遐想
该要有个答案了

10% neutral, 70% negative and 10% positive

Visited the St. Kilda beach again last evening, for the sake of an assignment, where I have to observe and write a report on the sunset in the context of sensation and perception.

Spent more than 3 hours at the beach on a cold windy evening to night. Made some passer-by questioned whether I am some sort of homeless folk straying at the beach...haha

Went on a visit to the ACMI Moving Image Centre today with my coursemate

We had reached a mutual agreement to meet at the destination at 1pm.

Guess what? At 12.54pm she texted me saying that she just woke up. (I can't help but to hypothesize that every anime-maniac has the same symptom )

Okay, it didn't really stimulate my amygdala to level up the amount of dopamine, norepinephrine and epinephrine in my blood at that time because I am only on the stage of setting off when I saw the text. (Good God, I don't think I will be able to speak like Dr. Beverly Hofstadter aka Leonard's mother)

She and I then reached another mutual agreement to meet at ACMI at 2pm instead.

So I sat back and enjoyed another 2 episodes of Big Bang Theory to kill the time.

This time I made it on time, and guess what?

At 2.04pm I received a text notifying me that she was about to set off from her place.

REALLY?

And so I ended up siting in front of ACMI and waited and waited and waited, listening to my id yelling some horrible thing.

At 2.36pm she finally showed up and asked me whether I had have a long waiting. As all know it would reflect me as a rude person if I were to be honest, but feel free to utilize your wild imagination to guess what response did my id give to.

Since you could still see this blog post doesn't really stop here, you could be confident enough to assume that bad things still continued to happen to me.

Basically the ACMI trip is related to Mind, Brain and Behavior 1 assignment, we are supposed to watch all of the exhibits and pick 3-4 to write about them.

Notice the pick 3-4 thingy, so one is free to choose the 3-4 from hundreds of exhibits.

So I supposed it wasn't just me but it is universally justified that it IS awkward if she tended to choose the same exhibits as I did, somemore kept intruding my comfort zone and distance even though there were abundance of space somewhere else.

What was more irritating is that she kept asking me what did I wrote on the notes for every exhibits, with her pencils and notes ready.

Please bitch, I am certain your behavior is going to constitute plagiarism as soon as you start your writing. That's why I kept hesitating like I was suffering from some kind of aphasia.

God, that's why I don't even bother trying to make friends of Year 1 level.

Not that I'm being ignorant of the knowledge part, but it's really tiring and hard to get myself retreat to the freshman state of me.

Anyway, it may sound somewhat "anti-social" but guess I shouldn't try too hard on the friend-making thing.

Afterall my study plan doesn't allow me to make a friend who will engage in 2 same subjects as I will at the same time.

Okay, switch to something motivating. I finally got my first Enigma album! Yay! And also my first Leonard Cohen album! And so JB HiFi becomes my most favourite place of interest in Melbourne.

We feel, we hear, we see, we do , we think

Time now: 1.08am (GMT +10), 31/3/2012

Mood now: Moodless + sleepy+ a little high+ a little anxious

What I can hear now: A few drunkards yelling something down at the street, the typing sound made by myself, some motorists speeding on the road, car horn beeping, the bell of the tram passing by, the break sound of the tram when it's approaching the stop, the sound of the wind, police car siren

What I can see now: A girl dancing on the balcony on opposite block, street lamps, billboards, opened sliding doors of balcony, the bowl that I used to fetch some ice-cream, a vase of lavenders, my restless hoodies, iphone(Carl III), a stack of books borrowed from the library piled up like UNO stack, my blurr reflection on the notebook screen, apartment keys, a few coins on the table, blog editing page...

What I am doing now:

Sitting on the chair, staring at the screen, looking at the keyboard and type

What's in my mind now:

"Assignments due soon"

"Is Kony 2012 100% truthful?"

"I want to watch the Disc 2 of South Park Season 1"

"I want to go to sleep"

"This blog post is to get myself familiar with the requirement of the assignment on "Sensation & Perception" "

"I should wrap myself with the sofa throw"

"What should I write?"

"Should get a new brand of ice-cream next time"

"Life is so boring"

"I miss KL Hokkien Mee"

"Will I be able to finish Understanding Society Assignment 1 by tomorrow afternoon?"

"Should I watch "Mirror Mirror" tomorrow?"

"Susanna Gale is really beautiful"

"WTF, dah pukul berapa masih ada polis merayau-rayau di sekitar???"

"Wow, my BM not bad"

"The dancing girl is out of sight"

"How come I didn't name the Suzuki Swift last time?"

"How would the night view of KL look like if I am viewing it from 22nd floor?"

"What song should I listen to now?"

"Want to sleep until automatically wake up tomorrow"

"Oh, the tram actually operates at such late hour"

"Should check the availability of secondhand textbook for my language subject now"

"Shit, forgot password of the textbook exchange website"

"Deng, outdated edition also sell for damn high price!"

"Where's the nail clipper?"

"Facebook tab got 1 new notification, think Grace pokes me again"

"Should end the writing now"

+...

Whatssup Epicurus

Dear Epicurus,

" Death, therefore, the most awful of evils, is nothing to us, seeing that, when we are (alive), death is not come, and when death is come, we are not."

Yes, you were being remarkably reasonable and rational when you said so.

But you forgot that when we are not alive anymore, the people around us are not necessary to be in the same state as ours.

We do not really see our death, but people around us do.

We may not need to deal with the aftermath of our death, but people around us do.

Just saying...

Can I have a Room of Requirement?

What do you do if you got a extremely annoying roommate who will surely affect your academic performance and who constantly challenges your temper?
You know you can't move away from the house, nor you can't ask the person to leave.
And the person is way too ignorant to listen to any of your suggestion.

And because of some special circumstances you are forbidden from using any harsh word to scold the person.

And even if you are allowed to your conscience may warn you that it is highly unethical to scold a naive person.
And yet the university library closes quite early.

And visiting Starbucks everyday is way too impractical.

I hate if eventually I have to farewell my great mission for such issue.
But seems like I have to...

haiz...
Don't know if the person is way too intolerable or I am filled with intolerance...

这几天是否该离开Melbourne这个课题越来越白热化
说好星期二会给我有关credit exemption答复的Faculty of Art依旧还没有带来任何消息

即使走在街上会迎接那秋风带来的一阵冰凉

心里却没有一秒不是在慌的

开课一星期了
甚至有lecturer将在下星期开始探讨assignment的种种

自己却在这一个星期内几乎没有一课不大磕睡的

都在认真听课 都在努力抓accent
明明大都只是一小时的课

我却很没出息地败坏校风

当初选读哲学系时就很羡慕University of Melbourne (UOM)的学生了

去年听到妹妹的edu counselor说我也可以申请credit transfer去UOM时

我确实心理很激动

当时我的CGPA为3.4x, edu counselor高诉我CGPA最少要3.5才比较保险

于是第二个sem我做到了，当时CGPA为3.5y
在最后一个sem我也以进UOM为目标拼了命，CGPA再升到3.6z

虽然没有PSY110的 Justin Yap的故事的可歌可泣

但我人生中有史以来最拼了命最尽了命莫过于那一次

多少瓶鸡精 多少个不眠夜 多少张自己抄的notes 多少杯咖啡 多少张slide 多少碗杯面

最后拿到了UOM的offer,但还没有给予credit exemption
我知道我曾说过HELP读过那一年就当foundation算了

可是来到这里念头全打消了

当我看到每一科平均3500-4000字的assigments等着我时

当我看到每一个星期百多页的reading pack等着我时

当我看到平均每一科每星期要出席2 lectures, 2 tutorials, 1 workshop时

当我被迫拿两科压根儿跟Psychology没关系的科目时

当我出席一个没有asian的tute时

当初的潇洒顿时变成无限的介意

开始嘲笑自己

干嘛那么犯贱？

明明呆在HELP很不错
还可以拿到RM3000的scholarship
有一班好到不像话的朋友

即使parking位难找但总好过天天挤在很恐怖的tram内

还能吃RM5以下的午餐

还有一群我遇过最棒的lecturers
为什么当初会选择放弃这美好的一切？

干嘛勉强自己再重读Year 1 ，当自己还在沉浸在Year 1 3rd sem考完试的最后一天的喜悦？

昔日的努力不被自己目前的大学肯定，顿时灰飞烟灭

我真的很沮丧，真的很累。。。

我害怕自己没能耐再完成哪些每科3500-4000字的assignment
害怕自己随时fail掉

害怕自己不愿意再跟另外超过1600个学生竞争experimental hour

害怕自己在"Reason" & "The Secret Life of Language"这两科考试前还不懂自己上过什么

害怕自己没能耐去读完那每星期百多页的Reading Pack

...

这次再回去的话我知道自己可能也没法再看得起自己了

怕自己下次遇到同样的事件时又会选择逃离

更别说以后打工时会是什么样子

以后周围的人会把什么样的眼光套在我身上...

不会去的话天天都要担惊受怕

连print一张notes都因为物价贵而很有压力

咖啡都不敢喝多半杯

我知道爸不介意我在这些“小事情”上花钱

可是每当我想起我花了他多少钱时

又会给自己压力逼自己更用功

好让自己感觉比较对得起他

也通过行动告诉他钱花在我身上是值得的

可是这一次我没本事再回报他了

我无法想象在花了一年近30k AUD后，万一其中一科不及格会怎样

就算到时爸不介意，我大概也不愿意再花更多时间在学业上了

真的不知该怎么做...

28/2/2012 rainy, then sunny Baillieu Library

Today when walking around the campus, had a strong doesn’t-seem-to-be-right-feeling…

I was like suddenly have no idea why am I here…

I should be sitting at AE1 and giggle over Ms. Winnee’s lecture

Should be wandering around HELP mainblock parking looking for a parking slot

Should be do my best to score full marks for PSY201 quizzes

Should be ordering Indomee goreng doucble and Iced Nescafe at Wisma HP food court

Should be trying to get into the shuttle bus travelling back to mainblock

Should be talking nonsense when discussing assignment details with friends…

The campus is nice over here in Melbourne

They got canteens, café, gardens, towers, high-speed wifi, comfortable lecture halls, bookshop…

But I don’t think I am belonged to here.

Maybe I’m just not suitable for studying overseas,

Though everyone else is looking forward for that opportunity throughout their life.

For my soul is still with the university which doesn’t grant a decent campus life…

Melbourne

Reached Melbourne d...

But really tired...

Thought I could finally sleep during the flight after drinking a bottle of Jack Daniel's Whiskey and Cola (Couldn't find it in M'sia)...

Even discussed about alcoholic drinks with the 2 passengers who were sitting next to me...haha

Fear floods in me again...

For the past few days I kept asking myself: Did I really made the right decision?

Becoming more frustrated now

Tomorrow would be the date of commencement of my course, but I haven't enrol into any subject yet...
Went to IKEA right after sending my luggage to the apartment...
Then ady had conflict with my sis
I know I should not compare the price of goods over here to those in M'sia
But I believe one could make his or her best effort to make a nice and cozy home w/o spending much more than required...
Looks like it will take me quite long to get used with the lifestyle practiced with the others under the same roof...
On the way back, I kept falling into microsleep in the tram that I actually hit my head to the steel handle accidentally.
Today didn't quite managed to catch most of the words when listening to native Australians... But I know I shouldn't be defeated by this as what I did back in the UK...If I cease my overseas study again, this would be my end...So, stay strong!
I feel sorry for my friends at HELP. At the very beginning of last year, I thought I can work on my goal in a very determined way. I thought studying at HELP was no doubt just a channel for me to enter oversea university. But now I feel sorry for having such thinking before...If I were to give one more chance, I guess I would choose to stay at HELP and work with my awesome friends...But life's no turning back, so I shouldn't spend much time on regretting my decision.
So, may god bless me!

It's just complicated

作为人类其中一个特点就是

感情更丰富

intensity of feeling and emotion 的起伏是如此的迷人

不知道那是不是因为至少人类在哭的时候深深感受到

自己是悲伤的，痛苦的

而在笑的时候 也明白那意味着自己的幸福和快乐在绽放着

（动物对自己的feeling和emotion有没有认知这件事我心情好时会去ebsco挖一挖资料）

很遗憾

丰富的感情

可以将人与人之间的距离拉得更近

亦可以把人推得更远

也许是因为

emotion和cognitive function都归同个大脑管

而我们就在它们互不妥协时

当了可悲的牺牲品

伤了自己在意的人

也伤了自己

而我们终究也只能

哭笑不得地静待着叹息声的轮迴

沉溺在一片不是自己的思想当中

B&B

Okay, people around me have been criticizing my obsession about Disney cartoon recently.

Just because I kept yelling wanting to go to watch Beauty and the Beast 3D.

Well, there's something I need to clarify here.

The very first one: No, I'm actually not a big fan of Disney's series, actually prefer Looney Tunes =P

And I don't understand why one must have been falling for the romance element in the Disney's series if he or she like watching them.

In fact, there are much more things to be appreciated in Disney's series (here refers to the Old Disney's series).

Graphics!!!!!!!

Give me a hundred more years I also can't draw the Waterfall of Pocahontas, the Circle of Pride in The Lion King, The Rose in Beauty & the Beast identically with the originals.

Some may argue that the Disney cartoons nowadays look more real. But if you compared Part 2 & 3 of The Lion King to Part 1, you'll get what I mean, hopefully.

Storyline!

Compared to those lame jokes stuffed reluctantly in the recent Disney's Productions, old Disney's series apply jokes that generally audiences from any age could understand. Less sarcasm, less stupid jokes.

And they do bring me back to some of my memories, or should say they are testing my memories. Do I remember the particular scene...bla bla bla
Lastly, I am curious about the presentation of those classics in 3D...The 3D version of The Lion king was somehow dissapointing. But not for Beauty & The Beast!

Today went to Kepong MBO, actually arrived there late. When I reached there, the girl at ticketing counter called the film box operator to see if he agree to show the film or not. And then YAY, I alone get to enjoy the whole film box for the movie. But don't know why the girl still ask me to choose a preferred seat ==' I want to do planking inside also can lar XD Don't know it should be considered as I was like a boss or forever alone. Maybe combo lor...Like a boss who is forever alone!
After the film was finished showing, I still stick on the chair though the staff had already opened the exit door and ready to collect my 3D glasses. Coz the film credits are accompanied with some 3D graphics mar, and the ending song is nice, so I sat until the song was half-played, haha.

Regression?

Sometimes I am thinking...

How I wish I could go back to my past life

go back to the grassland

the evergreen grassland

How I wish I am just merely lost in space

and will be able to get back to the place I really belong to someday

It did not always lead to a peaceful life on that grassland

as well as I do understand that I do not belong to any land of heaven

But at least it was not that complicated

not that taxing

not that vague

The sky was always blue

The breeze was always breeze

And the river continues to flow...

Just saying...

LMS' quote #1

It's no big deal to be lost.
It only means that you get to travel on more roads.










(hope I myself will be convinced by what I have said someday...)

Stage Play

前情提要：请参考previous blog post

今日要点：
之前说好要写关于之前去过的一个生活营
（事实上draft都打了半页）
不过算了，after all there are much more important things in life
(看到这里，虾酥粒可以放心了吧)
那今晚聊些什么呢？
就聊日前有份参与的一个戏剧公演吧！
毕竟我好难得才可以做到一件与自己兴趣相应的东西
不是说心理学不是我的兴趣
但就实际方面实在不容易探讨自己想要寻找的东西
很多人以为心理学实验很好玩
事实上我们都败给了environment setting, ethics, resources...
而这些东西都为创意设了限，不好玩
（我还真是一个危险人物 XD）
回到戏剧公演，
它是一件我很想做好的一件事
当中有不少风波
而我一开始也不看好这项演出
不过落幕后我很荣幸能成为它的一部分
我在里面负责道具和机关
（But大部分道具都是惠双在负责，蛮惭愧的=P）
我想留在学校忙到1am会是我有生之年唯一一次吧
大家set up 场地的第一天
我心里感动了一下
当一个team齐心去完成一件事时，它的效果是______________________________。(无法用言语形容的XD)
接下来的几天，当bg music和灯光都加进来时，气氛更是诡异到极点。
戏剧公演第一天我妈有来捧场
很高兴至少在这件事上她肯定了我的努力
而这次的戏剧参与也让我明白
原来我不可能放弃对它的热诚
戏剧公演的最后一天
落幕后
我回家途中看到夕阳时
很感慨
有多少个日子我只能窝在暗暗的幕后而错过了黄昏？
当天的夕阳漂亮，灿烂，绚丽
我把车子停在家门前望了它20分钟才舍得离去
戏剧终于圆满落幕了
我的2012年的起点总算过得漂亮，精彩 =)