Should be writing social psych lab report now
But thr's too much thoughts in my brain
Of which more than half of them hv nth to do with the report
So I guess it's better to hv some focused reflection b4 moving on to the writing
Last night I was procrastinating too
But instead of doing sth meaningless
I was stone thr, listening to some 黄梅调
If you'd followed some Shaw Brother's films in the past
You'd know what's a 黄梅调
But prolly not even many of the people of my age did know about it
Everytime I listened to some beautiful pieces of 黄梅调
Especially those of 红楼梦，天仙配，孟姜女
I'd shed some tears
YES, you don't have to inform me about your judgment
I do know how stupid it sounded
But then again, I felt a very subtle connection btwn 黄梅调 and me
It's like I had actually heard it long before this life
Some funny feeling suggests that I had been living in an era of 黄梅调, if you like
Again, it's prolly just some self-constructed dejavu but yeah
Nth would weaken the uniques sense of connection
Today I couldn't get a person out of mind for the entire day
It was a person that used to be my great company
The person listened to my sorrow, built courage in me via some unique way
While I was trying my best to make the person happy whenever I could
Life without the person was really lonely
And I thought there might be a chance we were able to lead to a wonderful ending
But then the person did sth that I considered severely against my philosophy of life
I understand from the bottom of my heart the person's attempt to change my lifestyle was because the person would like to increase the common topic in between us
I understand that the person might be feeling lonely as well as I did
But then again I have been devoting so much of my life to prove my value, my principle...
Changing my lifestyle was like denying my effort, denying my identity, my sense of self
I found it simply unbearable and rather hurting, very hurting
I'm not looking for someone who would ask me to not to listen to 黄梅调 anymore, nor someone who listen to 黄梅调 in order to earn my attention/ liking...
I'll be glad to know someone who enjoy his/her life much and cherish ppl who enjoy their own life :)
Anyway, I wish that the person would find someone that could really bring happiness into the person's life w/o any intentious changes be made
Bear with me for keep using 'the person' instead of some simple pronouns
Thr's a reason that I couldn't admit atm
Lastly,on this year's R U OK? Day
I did not make it to greet ppl around me much
But I did thanked the janitor at Richard Barry building's toilet and thanked the Thai student who sold Pad Thai at the Festival of Nations (in Thai)
Haha, not bad I guess
But I'm committed to do better in the future
Ok, I'm going back to my assignment.
Bye bye!
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