So I just watched "Schindler's List"
TBF I don't recommend watching it at nights
although presented in b&w
the holocaust scene may still potentially haunt yr mind
While psych students might have been upsetting with the dehumanising nature of human
Thank god thr's this film reminding you "Nope, thr's always an exception"
The film is about Oskar Schindler and his wife, who saved about 1100- 1200 Jews from the holocaust.
在这之前我一直觉得自己是个很不自由的人
我活在一个完全没人懂我的家庭里
周围的人不明白我所信奉的，所坚持的
我至今还没办法找到一个和我心与心很贴近的人
就像一只52赫兹的鲸鱼
就在这两周我都在告诉自己如果现在身在电影片场，画室，乃至戏剧舞台上
那该多好
至少那是我最能专注的地方
我每天都在观察人与人之间的互动
可是自己在人际沟通上却越来越被动了
其实南京大屠杀，第二次世界大战等等并非距离现在很久远的事
我们的人身自由是比那个年代要好很多
更别说我们不是身在中东，非洲或南韩
尚算安全
可是安全感似乎不曾增加
以前的人literally从踏出家门那一刻就不晓得能不能平安回家
现代常人呢？
依旧对现况的自由不满
Wifi不过快，功课压力，还没当成人却很想做成人做的事...
你真的认为那两种不自由可以相提并论吗？
是的，人类就是没有满足的一天
We crave and we strive for freedom at the expense of the others
我想，唯有达到“无状态”，没有欲望，没有自不自由的，一切才会静止在那时空里
没有一念一想
在那之前，请善待我们周遭的人吧
我们结伴来到这世界感受能感受的
却反过头被感受牵绊了
彼此折磨着对方
两败俱伤
即使没法瞬间放下仇恨
至少不要去刻意伤害
静观自己拥有的自由
并且善用自由
大概会比较快乐吧
2013年9月27日星期五
2013年9月15日星期日
黄梅调/Do not attempt to change my life or change to suit my life/R U OK ? Day
Should be writing social psych lab report now
But thr's too much thoughts in my brain
Of which more than half of them hv nth to do with the report
So I guess it's better to hv some focused reflection b4 moving on to the writing
Last night I was procrastinating too
But instead of doing sth meaningless
I was stone thr, listening to some 黄梅调
If you'd followed some Shaw Brother's films in the past
You'd know what's a 黄梅调
But prolly not even many of the people of my age did know about it
Everytime I listened to some beautiful pieces of 黄梅调
Especially those of 红楼梦，天仙配，孟姜女
I'd shed some tears
YES, you don't have to inform me about your judgment
I do know how stupid it sounded
But then again, I felt a very subtle connection btwn 黄梅调 and me
It's like I had actually heard it long before this life
Some funny feeling suggests that I had been living in an era of 黄梅调, if you like
Again, it's prolly just some self-constructed dejavu but yeah
Nth would weaken the uniques sense of connection
Today I couldn't get a person out of mind for the entire day
It was a person that used to be my great company
The person listened to my sorrow, built courage in me via some unique way
While I was trying my best to make the person happy whenever I could
Life without the person was really lonely
And I thought there might be a chance we were able to lead to a wonderful ending
But then the person did sth that I considered severely against my philosophy of life
I understand from the bottom of my heart the person's attempt to change my lifestyle was because the person would like to increase the common topic in between us
I understand that the person might be feeling lonely as well as I did
But then again I have been devoting so much of my life to prove my value, my principle...
Changing my lifestyle was like denying my effort, denying my identity, my sense of self
I found it simply unbearable and rather hurting, very hurting
I'm not looking for someone who would ask me to not to listen to 黄梅调 anymore, nor someone who listen to 黄梅调 in order to earn my attention/ liking...
I'll be glad to know someone who enjoy his/her life much and cherish ppl who enjoy their own life :)
Anyway, I wish that the person would find someone that could really bring happiness into the person's life w/o any intentious changes be made
Bear with me for keep using 'the person' instead of some simple pronouns
Thr's a reason that I couldn't admit atm
Lastly,on this year's R U OK? Day
I did not make it to greet ppl around me much
But I did thanked the janitor at Richard Barry building's toilet and thanked the Thai student who sold Pad Thai at the Festival of Nations (in Thai)
Haha, not bad I guess
But I'm committed to do better in the future
Ok, I'm going back to my assignment.
Bye bye!
But thr's too much thoughts in my brain
Of which more than half of them hv nth to do with the report
So I guess it's better to hv some focused reflection b4 moving on to the writing
Last night I was procrastinating too
But instead of doing sth meaningless
I was stone thr, listening to some 黄梅调
If you'd followed some Shaw Brother's films in the past
You'd know what's a 黄梅调
But prolly not even many of the people of my age did know about it
Everytime I listened to some beautiful pieces of 黄梅调
Especially those of 红楼梦，天仙配，孟姜女
I'd shed some tears
YES, you don't have to inform me about your judgment
I do know how stupid it sounded
But then again, I felt a very subtle connection btwn 黄梅调 and me
It's like I had actually heard it long before this life
Some funny feeling suggests that I had been living in an era of 黄梅调, if you like
Again, it's prolly just some self-constructed dejavu but yeah
Nth would weaken the uniques sense of connection
Today I couldn't get a person out of mind for the entire day
It was a person that used to be my great company
The person listened to my sorrow, built courage in me via some unique way
While I was trying my best to make the person happy whenever I could
Life without the person was really lonely
And I thought there might be a chance we were able to lead to a wonderful ending
But then the person did sth that I considered severely against my philosophy of life
I understand from the bottom of my heart the person's attempt to change my lifestyle was because the person would like to increase the common topic in between us
I understand that the person might be feeling lonely as well as I did
But then again I have been devoting so much of my life to prove my value, my principle...
Changing my lifestyle was like denying my effort, denying my identity, my sense of self
I found it simply unbearable and rather hurting, very hurting
I'm not looking for someone who would ask me to not to listen to 黄梅调 anymore, nor someone who listen to 黄梅调 in order to earn my attention/ liking...
I'll be glad to know someone who enjoy his/her life much and cherish ppl who enjoy their own life :)
Anyway, I wish that the person would find someone that could really bring happiness into the person's life w/o any intentious changes be made
Bear with me for keep using 'the person' instead of some simple pronouns
Thr's a reason that I couldn't admit atm
Lastly,on this year's R U OK? Day
I did not make it to greet ppl around me much
But I did thanked the janitor at Richard Barry building's toilet and thanked the Thai student who sold Pad Thai at the Festival of Nations (in Thai)
Haha, not bad I guess
But I'm committed to do better in the future
Ok, I'm going back to my assignment.
Bye bye!
2013年9月2日星期一
*Bup Bup Bup Buup Bup*
前天吃完brunch后在餐厅外遇到一个小女孩
她在餐厅外的小巷吹着泡泡
她邀请我和我妹陪她一起吹泡泡
看谁吹的泡泡最大 看谁吹的泡泡飘得最远
我们玩得很开心
女孩告诉我们她每天都在那个小巷
也告诉我们她没和妈妈一起住 （我们推测她双亲离婚了）
她只有5岁
爸爸应该是在餐厅打工
没有人看着她 没有人陪她玩
临别时她好不舍得我们
甚至想跟我们回家
我们只好答应她下星期再去找她
临别前大家都互相取了nickname
bubble queen, bubble fish, bubble princess, bubble prince...
哈哈哈
这小朋友很有意思
下星期一定守诺言再去找她 ;)
她在餐厅外的小巷吹着泡泡
她邀请我和我妹陪她一起吹泡泡
看谁吹的泡泡最大 看谁吹的泡泡飘得最远
我们玩得很开心
女孩告诉我们她每天都在那个小巷
也告诉我们她没和妈妈一起住 （我们推测她双亲离婚了）
她只有5岁
爸爸应该是在餐厅打工
没有人看着她 没有人陪她玩
临别时她好不舍得我们
甚至想跟我们回家
我们只好答应她下星期再去找她
临别前大家都互相取了nickname
bubble queen, bubble fish, bubble princess, bubble prince...
哈哈哈
这小朋友很有意思
下星期一定守诺言再去找她 ;)
2013年8月19日星期一
我看见土星啦！
如题
七夕我和朋友随天文学会到Melbourne Observatory一游
好彩那晚没下雨
一开始我迷了路
带着恐慌穿越一片暗黑原野 =="
最后终于看到灯塔，向它奔去
谁会想到在light pollution笼罩下的城市
近郊会有一片可以将星星一览无遗的草原
Observatory的老职员对着星空指指点点
向我们解释哪个方位住着哪个星星
我当然不懂他在讲什么
但是大家都说那晚的天蝎座很明显
我看了看
应该有对到吧...
老职员指向Southern Cross时，我看着那些比较零丁的星星
那是我梦寐以求盼望见到的
总有一天我会在没有灯源污染的地方再和它相见 ：）
到了瞭望台
看见了一台很有历练的望远镜
它藏在attic里，但是如此巨大
虽然老职员向我们解释了其操作原理
但我依然很blurr
只见他做了一番手动式的调动后
我们看到了月亮
是清清楚楚地看到月亮上的蒼孔那一种
好感动
接下来还看到了Saturn
（我从看到Saturn回来到现在Google后才惊觉Saturn =土星）
虽然透过望远镜无法很清楚地看到它
但还算是看到它的主体和光环
那感觉是超乎大自然的 “东西”
一种没有外线的完美
人类绝对无法仿造的“东西”
如此完美
如此独特
你们知道我的Iphone很beh gai
没法拍到照片
所以我在Google找到了比较接近我眼见的
宇宙的奥妙
有着不被理解的美
有机会你们应该也去看看
七夕我和朋友随天文学会到Melbourne Observatory一游
好彩那晚没下雨
一开始我迷了路
带着恐慌穿越一片暗黑原野 =="
最后终于看到灯塔，向它奔去
谁会想到在light pollution笼罩下的城市
近郊会有一片可以将星星一览无遗的草原
Observatory的老职员对着星空指指点点
向我们解释哪个方位住着哪个星星
我当然不懂他在讲什么
但是大家都说那晚的天蝎座很明显
我看了看
应该有对到吧...
老职员指向Southern Cross时，我看着那些比较零丁的星星
那是我梦寐以求盼望见到的
总有一天我会在没有灯源污染的地方再和它相见 ：）
到了瞭望台
看见了一台很有历练的望远镜
它藏在attic里，但是如此巨大
虽然老职员向我们解释了其操作原理
但我依然很blurr
只见他做了一番手动式的调动后
我们看到了月亮
是清清楚楚地看到月亮上的蒼孔那一种
好感动
接下来还看到了Saturn
（我从看到Saturn回来到现在Google后才惊觉Saturn =土星）
虽然透过望远镜无法很清楚地看到它
但还算是看到它的主体和光环
那感觉是超乎大自然的 “东西”
一种没有外线的完美
人类绝对无法仿造的“东西”
如此完美
如此独特
你们知道我的Iphone很beh gai
没法拍到照片
所以我在Google找到了比较接近我眼见的
有着不被理解的美
有机会你们应该也去看看
2013年8月4日星期日
我想看Southern Cross Milky Way
hey
不知不觉八月啦
A new sem began
我拿到成绩了
幸好Phonetics Pass 了
不过这个sem要面对两个Major的capstone subject
也很压力
最近参加了Astronomical Society
没几个Asian
我对星象没半点认知
但是我好想再毕业前到light pollution比较少的地方看到Southern Cross Milky Way
大概是这样的东西
马来西亚看不到
很美吧？
2013年7月20日星期六
Bye bye misery, you'll be missed!
I got around 5 blog drafts centred around the themes how did my past experiences and environment shaped my sorrow and current status before posting this up
But heck those pretentious bastards and bitches have defined but my sorrow in the past
I just can't let them define my happiness in the future
So yeah, misery, thanks for accompanying me all these while
you let me down and yet you gave me strength too
but I know I deserved a happier life
so yeah
misery must go
I'm ready to be happy
not because pretentious jerks asked me to
but it's because I wanted to
But heck those pretentious bastards and bitches have defined but my sorrow in the past
I just can't let them define my happiness in the future
So yeah, misery, thanks for accompanying me all these while
you let me down and yet you gave me strength too
but I know I deserved a happier life
so yeah
misery must go
I'm ready to be happy
not because pretentious jerks asked me to
but it's because I wanted to
2013年7月1日星期一
两周前我在考完Developmental Psych后回程电车上遇见一位老太太
老太太她长得很像昂山舒姬
一个人上车
瘦弱的她拎着一个很大的行李箱
身穿白色素衣
脸带倦容，但笑容很慈祥
坐在我对面 开始聊起来
她告诉我她来自外洲 患有癌症
必需定期到Ballarat定期做检查
原来她以前也主修Developmental Psych
问我主修什么时，我只告诉她Psychology
因为我对Phonetics很没把握，所以常省略Linguistics major
话才一落地，她就马上问我说我一定还有在major一些其他什么的
好厉害，我便从实招来
再聊了3分钟的光景后，我到站了，就和她道别
看到一个如此坚强的灵魂，我很是感慨
大前天，试考完了，我赶紧搭了直通电车到St. Kilda Beach
用海水洗了洗脸
而且赶得上看日落
前几个星期的负面力量都瞬间消逝了
真好
老太太她长得很像昂山舒姬
一个人上车
瘦弱的她拎着一个很大的行李箱
身穿白色素衣
脸带倦容，但笑容很慈祥
坐在我对面 开始聊起来
她告诉我她来自外洲 患有癌症
必需定期到Ballarat定期做检查
原来她以前也主修Developmental Psych
问我主修什么时，我只告诉她Psychology
因为我对Phonetics很没把握，所以常省略Linguistics major
话才一落地，她就马上问我说我一定还有在major一些其他什么的
好厉害，我便从实招来
再聊了3分钟的光景后，我到站了，就和她道别
看到一个如此坚强的灵魂，我很是感慨
大前天，试考完了，我赶紧搭了直通电车到St. Kilda Beach
用海水洗了洗脸
而且赶得上看日落
前几个星期的负面力量都瞬间消逝了
真好
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