此生当中
我倍感荣幸
能有人
无时无刻
惦记着我的美好
知道我的善良
实在由衷感动
从此以后
我志当不再于追求
社会定义的成就
而是努力当一个快乐的人
否则就辜负及糟蹋了
他们的养育之恩
愿他们今生远离一切痛苦与烦恼
来生定当报答栽培之恩
2014年2月2日星期日
2014年1月23日星期四
为什么
为什么一个陌生的医生一眼看得出我有多年不渝的心结
而你却头头是道地认为我生活得不快乐是我自己活该
为什么一个陌生的医生会为我的聪明与怪脾气啧啧称奇
而你却永远认为我的愚昧是家门不幸
为什么十恶不赦的弟弟你坚信“他会变的。”
为什么一个孝顺的我你回以“送你读书不过浪费钱。”
为什么十恶不赦的弟弟你称之为天使
为什么常有怜悯之心的我你称之为阿修罗
为什么我有原则你怨我固执
为什么弟弟固执你赞他有原则
为什么弟弟转校你愿意奔波
为什么我转校你冷眼以对，甚至赠与诅咒与怨恨
为什么我曾经遍体鳞伤
为什么只有弟弟永远配得上爱的教育
为什么我的习惯孤单是孤僻
为什么弟弟的习惯孤单是爱家
还有成千上万的为什么
阴影化了我的过去
笼罩着我的将来
而你却头头是道地认为我生活得不快乐是我自己活该
为什么一个陌生的医生会为我的聪明与怪脾气啧啧称奇
而你却永远认为我的愚昧是家门不幸
为什么十恶不赦的弟弟你坚信“他会变的。”
为什么一个孝顺的我你回以“送你读书不过浪费钱。”
为什么十恶不赦的弟弟你称之为天使
为什么常有怜悯之心的我你称之为阿修罗
为什么我有原则你怨我固执
为什么弟弟固执你赞他有原则
为什么弟弟转校你愿意奔波
为什么我转校你冷眼以对，甚至赠与诅咒与怨恨
为什么我曾经遍体鳞伤
为什么只有弟弟永远配得上爱的教育
为什么我的习惯孤单是孤僻
为什么弟弟的习惯孤单是爱家
还有成千上万的为什么
阴影化了我的过去
笼罩着我的将来
2013年11月26日星期二
52Hz Whale
So
Just had my 23th b'day
I was really glad that this time my dad managed to celebrate it with me
although it was not quite in the form I was expecting
I always appreciate what he has been providing for the family and me
And that's why an expensive and lots-of-animal-sacrificing dinner was completely unnecessary
Guess I hv a long way to go to persuade a change in my family
But the feeling of unfit has always led to an inadequate me
I know my family sometimes support me
but whenever I looked at their shadow, their back
I felt like they are strangers to me, and vice versa
And this is not even some teenage rebellious thought
I've been thinking
if one day a person come up and tell me he/she understands me
and I know that it's true
I might burst into tears for real
Just realized this is the 100th post
and I thought I'll be more cheerful by this stage
prolly not now...
Just had my 23th b'day
I was really glad that this time my dad managed to celebrate it with me
although it was not quite in the form I was expecting
I always appreciate what he has been providing for the family and me
And that's why an expensive and lots-of-animal-sacrificing dinner was completely unnecessary
Guess I hv a long way to go to persuade a change in my family
But the feeling of unfit has always led to an inadequate me
I know my family sometimes support me
but whenever I looked at their shadow, their back
I felt like they are strangers to me, and vice versa
And this is not even some teenage rebellious thought
I've been thinking
if one day a person come up and tell me he/she understands me
and I know that it's true
I might burst into tears for real
Just realized this is the 100th post
and I thought I'll be more cheerful by this stage
prolly not now...
2013年10月30日星期三
2013年10月27日星期日
2013年9月27日星期五
Stop dehumanize the others!
So I just watched "Schindler's List"
TBF I don't recommend watching it at nights
although presented in b&w
the holocaust scene may still potentially haunt yr mind
While psych students might have been upsetting with the dehumanising nature of human
Thank god thr's this film reminding you "Nope, thr's always an exception"
The film is about Oskar Schindler and his wife, who saved about 1100- 1200 Jews from the holocaust.
在这之前我一直觉得自己是个很不自由的人
我活在一个完全没人懂我的家庭里
周围的人不明白我所信奉的，所坚持的
我至今还没办法找到一个和我心与心很贴近的人
就像一只52赫兹的鲸鱼
就在这两周我都在告诉自己如果现在身在电影片场，画室，乃至戏剧舞台上
那该多好
至少那是我最能专注的地方
我每天都在观察人与人之间的互动
可是自己在人际沟通上却越来越被动了
其实南京大屠杀，第二次世界大战等等并非距离现在很久远的事
我们的人身自由是比那个年代要好很多
更别说我们不是身在中东，非洲或南韩
尚算安全
可是安全感似乎不曾增加
以前的人literally从踏出家门那一刻就不晓得能不能平安回家
现代常人呢？
依旧对现况的自由不满
Wifi不过快，功课压力，还没当成人却很想做成人做的事...
你真的认为那两种不自由可以相提并论吗？
是的，人类就是没有满足的一天
We crave and we strive for freedom at the expense of the others
我想，唯有达到“无状态”，没有欲望，没有自不自由的，一切才会静止在那时空里
没有一念一想
在那之前，请善待我们周遭的人吧
我们结伴来到这世界感受能感受的
却反过头被感受牵绊了
彼此折磨着对方
两败俱伤
即使没法瞬间放下仇恨
至少不要去刻意伤害
静观自己拥有的自由
并且善用自由
大概会比较快乐吧
TBF I don't recommend watching it at nights
although presented in b&w
the holocaust scene may still potentially haunt yr mind
While psych students might have been upsetting with the dehumanising nature of human
Thank god thr's this film reminding you "Nope, thr's always an exception"
The film is about Oskar Schindler and his wife, who saved about 1100- 1200 Jews from the holocaust.
在这之前我一直觉得自己是个很不自由的人
我活在一个完全没人懂我的家庭里
周围的人不明白我所信奉的，所坚持的
我至今还没办法找到一个和我心与心很贴近的人
就像一只52赫兹的鲸鱼
就在这两周我都在告诉自己如果现在身在电影片场，画室，乃至戏剧舞台上
那该多好
至少那是我最能专注的地方
我每天都在观察人与人之间的互动
可是自己在人际沟通上却越来越被动了
其实南京大屠杀，第二次世界大战等等并非距离现在很久远的事
我们的人身自由是比那个年代要好很多
更别说我们不是身在中东，非洲或南韩
尚算安全
可是安全感似乎不曾增加
以前的人literally从踏出家门那一刻就不晓得能不能平安回家
现代常人呢？
依旧对现况的自由不满
Wifi不过快，功课压力，还没当成人却很想做成人做的事...
你真的认为那两种不自由可以相提并论吗？
是的，人类就是没有满足的一天
We crave and we strive for freedom at the expense of the others
我想，唯有达到“无状态”，没有欲望，没有自不自由的，一切才会静止在那时空里
没有一念一想
在那之前，请善待我们周遭的人吧
我们结伴来到这世界感受能感受的
却反过头被感受牵绊了
彼此折磨着对方
两败俱伤
即使没法瞬间放下仇恨
至少不要去刻意伤害
静观自己拥有的自由
并且善用自由
大概会比较快乐吧
2013年9月15日星期日
黄梅调/Do not attempt to change my life or change to suit my life/R U OK ? Day
Should be writing social psych lab report now
But thr's too much thoughts in my brain
Of which more than half of them hv nth to do with the report
So I guess it's better to hv some focused reflection b4 moving on to the writing
Last night I was procrastinating too
But instead of doing sth meaningless
I was stone thr, listening to some 黄梅调
If you'd followed some Shaw Brother's films in the past
You'd know what's a 黄梅调
But prolly not even many of the people of my age did know about it
Everytime I listened to some beautiful pieces of 黄梅调
Especially those of 红楼梦，天仙配，孟姜女
I'd shed some tears
YES, you don't have to inform me about your judgment
I do know how stupid it sounded
But then again, I felt a very subtle connection btwn 黄梅调 and me
It's like I had actually heard it long before this life
Some funny feeling suggests that I had been living in an era of 黄梅调, if you like
Again, it's prolly just some self-constructed dejavu but yeah
Nth would weaken the uniques sense of connection
Today I couldn't get a person out of mind for the entire day
It was a person that used to be my great company
The person listened to my sorrow, built courage in me via some unique way
While I was trying my best to make the person happy whenever I could
Life without the person was really lonely
And I thought there might be a chance we were able to lead to a wonderful ending
But then the person did sth that I considered severely against my philosophy of life
I understand from the bottom of my heart the person's attempt to change my lifestyle was because the person would like to increase the common topic in between us
I understand that the person might be feeling lonely as well as I did
But then again I have been devoting so much of my life to prove my value, my principle...
Changing my lifestyle was like denying my effort, denying my identity, my sense of self
I found it simply unbearable and rather hurting, very hurting
I'm not looking for someone who would ask me to not to listen to 黄梅调 anymore, nor someone who listen to 黄梅调 in order to earn my attention/ liking...
I'll be glad to know someone who enjoy his/her life much and cherish ppl who enjoy their own life :)
Anyway, I wish that the person would find someone that could really bring happiness into the person's life w/o any intentious changes be made
Bear with me for keep using 'the person' instead of some simple pronouns
Thr's a reason that I couldn't admit atm
Lastly,on this year's R U OK? Day
I did not make it to greet ppl around me much
But I did thanked the janitor at Richard Barry building's toilet and thanked the Thai student who sold Pad Thai at the Festival of Nations (in Thai)
Haha, not bad I guess
But I'm committed to do better in the future
Ok, I'm going back to my assignment.
Bye bye!
But thr's too much thoughts in my brain
Of which more than half of them hv nth to do with the report
So I guess it's better to hv some focused reflection b4 moving on to the writing
Last night I was procrastinating too
But instead of doing sth meaningless
I was stone thr, listening to some 黄梅调
If you'd followed some Shaw Brother's films in the past
You'd know what's a 黄梅调
But prolly not even many of the people of my age did know about it
Everytime I listened to some beautiful pieces of 黄梅调
Especially those of 红楼梦，天仙配，孟姜女
I'd shed some tears
YES, you don't have to inform me about your judgment
I do know how stupid it sounded
But then again, I felt a very subtle connection btwn 黄梅调 and me
It's like I had actually heard it long before this life
Some funny feeling suggests that I had been living in an era of 黄梅调, if you like
Again, it's prolly just some self-constructed dejavu but yeah
Nth would weaken the uniques sense of connection
Today I couldn't get a person out of mind for the entire day
It was a person that used to be my great company
The person listened to my sorrow, built courage in me via some unique way
While I was trying my best to make the person happy whenever I could
Life without the person was really lonely
And I thought there might be a chance we were able to lead to a wonderful ending
But then the person did sth that I considered severely against my philosophy of life
I understand from the bottom of my heart the person's attempt to change my lifestyle was because the person would like to increase the common topic in between us
I understand that the person might be feeling lonely as well as I did
But then again I have been devoting so much of my life to prove my value, my principle...
Changing my lifestyle was like denying my effort, denying my identity, my sense of self
I found it simply unbearable and rather hurting, very hurting
I'm not looking for someone who would ask me to not to listen to 黄梅调 anymore, nor someone who listen to 黄梅调 in order to earn my attention/ liking...
I'll be glad to know someone who enjoy his/her life much and cherish ppl who enjoy their own life :)
Anyway, I wish that the person would find someone that could really bring happiness into the person's life w/o any intentious changes be made
Bear with me for keep using 'the person' instead of some simple pronouns
Thr's a reason that I couldn't admit atm
Lastly,on this year's R U OK? Day
I did not make it to greet ppl around me much
But I did thanked the janitor at Richard Barry building's toilet and thanked the Thai student who sold Pad Thai at the Festival of Nations (in Thai)
Haha, not bad I guess
But I'm committed to do better in the future
Ok, I'm going back to my assignment.
Bye bye!
订阅：
博文 (Atom)